Biblical Version Surprise

The many "versions" of the Bible tell sort of, mostly, kind of the same story but in quite different "flavors". A few days ago, I accidentally got BibleGateway away from my standard reference KJV to ESV while looking at Ezekial 23 (parable of a pair of sisters as stand-ins for 2 towns). I've apparently been using a very plain vanilla flavor -- when I've previously read this, I only took it as another of the jealous god, 'you're gonna pay for not worshiping and praising only me, me, me enough' stories. I never thought of it quite the way some versions present it. This pretty much absolutely convinces me the words are written by men, for men. No one else is that obsessed with their own genitalia and sexual performance. How dare she lust for someone better hung (or more skilled) than I! Male insecurity writ large (claiming to be 'the word of the Lord'). This is verse 20. 

KJV - For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses. 

ESV - and lusted after her lovers there, whose members were like those of donkeys, and whose issue was like that of horses.

Umm, what!? I asked for all versions of this verse. A few wildly more... detailed? are below.

CSB - and lusted after their lovers, whose sexual members were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of stallions.

CEB - She lusted after their male consorts, whose sexual organs were like those of donkeys, and whose ejaculation was like that of horses.

EHV - She lusted after her paramours, whose genitals were like the genitals of donkeys and whose ejaculation was like the ejaculation of horses.

ERV - She remembered the lovers who excited her there, who were like animals in their sexual desires and abilities.

GW - She lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose semen was like that of horses.

VOICE - She lusted for lovers whose genitals were as large as a donkey’s and whose emissions were like a horse’s.

... and so on. The full list is here. Really people, has any woman ever said to any man "you didn't leave enough of a mess to clean up"? Or, is this really more about distance than volume... do horses go a few feet or something? How do you even know? This is just hilariously insane to me.