The Bible Stories

Suppose the bible isn't only a collection of humans' (limited) knowledge of that time? Sure it was important to pass on knowledge of basics like the lever, the wheel, fire, metal working (bronze age leading into the iron age), animal husbandry and crop rotation, signs of the changing seasons and such. What was really needed was a collection of tales and stories. Stories told by parents to lull their children to sleep at night, while teaching them a life lesson; similar to Aesop's Fables or Grimm's Fairy Tales or even Disney.

In teaching the value of hard work, consider the story of Fred. Fred listened to management (workers are strong, not weary or fainting Isaiah 40:28), and crossed the worker picket lines one day. This upset the striking wood gatherers, who called him a scab and stoned him to death (possibly not really, but it's a better story this way). The striking workers negotiated one day off per week (Exodus 31:17 on the 7th day he rested), and a 10-minute daily lunch break. That last part didn't make it into the final contract though. 

"Hey, how many kids is that now, Larry"? asked a coworker after the most recent birth. "Haha, I sometimes lose count, it's a lot of mouths to feed!" From thence forth, he was called A'lot by his jealous friends and acquaintances. Seems A'lot was getting a lot more sex than they. Little did they know, A'lot secretly wanted to bed at least two of his daughters. A'lot would later offer the girls to a mob of men from another town (the men refused). The word "Lot" also means "many", as in someone who makes a lot of poor choices! His moniker shortened through time to just Lot. He made so many poor choices that his wife, in a desperate attempt to gain her freedom, froze like a pillar on the trek up the mountain. She was able to escape Lot after he left her behind. Once he noticed she had stopped, he had lunch there on the trail while pondering his situation (he was quite superstitious and blamed supernatural forces for his wife's immobilization). Eventually, he kept going on up the hill. He was already thinking about a secluded cave, alone with his daughters... I'll need a cover story, he thought. Everybody knows I like my wine. How can I leverage that to my advantage, hmm... Lot wasn't a very nice man. 

Jesse was the oldest son of a wood worker. He studied under his father for a while, then travelled, learning more tricks of the trade. As he returned to his home town, he realized this was not the work he wanted to do. He was at best a mediocre carpenter, and struggled to find work. He was an excellent public speaker. He enjoyed travel, seeing new places, and meeting new people. He got a rush from the adoration of cheering crowds. Hmm, how to turn that into a career... Jesse became a fairly well known activist for worker rights, and an advocate for the poorest members of the town and surrounding community. He trained a dozen or more to follow his teachings after he had moved on. It became a bit of a habit for many. He possibly even started, or at least advocated, communal living and sharing (later came to be called a 'commune'). 

These are just a few examples of the way it might have been. A few hundred years later groups began to form, advocating for this story or that story to be included in a "best of" compilation. Somehow, this compendium became doctrine and a central authority was determined. Church dogma was established and everything continued downhill from there. The stories were expanded upon, stories from neighboring tribes were added, and new stories were created. The folk tales, family stories, ghost and demon stories, and added rules became the basis of several religions. The story collection was no longer fit for its intended purpose. From Aesop in the 6th century BCE to the Grimm Brothers and H.C. Anderson in the 1800s to Disney of today, writers have tried to fill this void.  

No longer will you have a joyful life. Sacrificial rites are required because you're born unworthy, sinful, and so on. Suffering is glorified. To follow Jesus the disciples sacrificed their livelihoods (Mark 1:16–20; 2:14), reputations (Mark 2:18, 23–24; 7:5), regular meals (Mark 6:30–31), and sleep (Mark 1:32–37; 6:45–48). In return, they expect glory (Mark 9:33–37) and power (Mark 10:35–45). There is no escape from this god's attention! He supposedly says that from pre-birth to post death, you are mine (and you should be grateful that I'm watching your every move, and knowing your every thought).  Don't enjoy sex, Halloween, D&D, or Harry Potter. These may be satanic or occult influences. Jack Chick was one of the evangelicals' most vocal proponents in numerous publications (Chick Tracts). Much like older Watch Tower issues, the tracts were all about the "my way or the highway" rules of a god (as described by ancient men).